The Breakdown of the Modern American Relationship

Huh ?

the breakdown of the modern American relationship

Every ounce of my being is working to stop me from writing another slander piece on my neighbors since I hate repeating myself. So this time, I will extend my discussion to the generality of all modern American relationships. This essay explores what I’ve seen in my own life to be a failure in modern American relationships. As a country, we seem to have forgotten what we actually need from a partner, vs what we must supply ourselves.

The trigger for me writing this essay was 5 words: “I like the name … ”. Granted, these words could have been uttered in a few different contexts, and I will briefly mention an acceptable one. If these words were uttered to an already pregnant lady about her baby, then my argument is moot. But if these words were uttered by my narcissistic, toxic neighbor about HERSELF, then everything I say here stands.

So why am I so bothered by “I like the name (for a boy)” ? Good question, maybe I’m just jealous ? Yes, I am single and alone after all; or maybe I see something they don’t, as an outsider to this relationship ? Or perhaps, I actually understand what it’s like to be responsible for another living being, and the idea of a baby being reduced to a new name makes my blood boil ? Who’s to say why this triggered me so, really ?

“I like the name (for a boy)” suggests that this couple is living their relationship for some future expectation of having children together. Living for a future expectation will do nothing but ensure a lack of happiness in the present. In addition, a child is more than just an object to name and an idea to muse over. A child requires constant due diligence and care. If naming the child is what is most exciting, they’re not ready to have a child.

This couple not being ready for taking care of a child is supported by all the fighting going on behind the scenes, when the guests aren’t over. Pretending to be a happy couple works great for four hours out of the week when guests are invited over, but that doesn’t discount the fights the rest of the week. The last fight I heard, the girl threatened DEATH. ( I’m not even kidding. I wasn’t paying attention so all I heard was her screaming “WANT TO DIE” so I don’t have context for y’all and I’m only 90% sure she was talking about her Own death, and not his; but yeah, that was how their last fight ended, her threatening death). So, that’s who we’re dealing with here. Seems absurd that the next conversation I heard was her contemplating baby names ? Like how insanely toxic is that ???

I’m getting too much into a slander on my neighbors again ! They’re supposed to be an example for a broader discussion here. The gist of said discussion is unhappiness in a relationship in the present won’t bring about happiness with the addition of an external element in the future, like children, if one is even so lucky as to have said opportunity ! We mustn’t forget that God gifts us babies when we are ready, and living a blocked life away from our true potential (aka staying in a toxic relationship) could obstruct his plans for us.

The breakdown of the modern American relationship occurs when partners live their life for a future obligation or expectation, such as getting married or having children together. A healthy relationship stays grounded in the present all the whilst discussing their joint futures together. Yes! This would include picking baby names, Together; all the while keeping in mind that a child is a whole-ass-being with a conscience and a soul, and caring for @ baby is more than simply giving it a name. LOL.

So what’s wrong with “I like the name (for a boy)” ? Casually throwing hints to your partner you want children together seems harmless enough? Right ? Wrong ! Doing so is a form of manipulation in which the perpetrator is attempting to convince their partner of an alternate future at which they are the center. In a healthy relationship, each partner is free to make his or her own choices, regardless of the other’s expectations. In a healthy relationship, expectations are managed, not people.

Dropping hints that you want children together is a subtle form of emotional manipulation since it attempts to persuade the partner into the future reality planned by the dreamer. A child brought into a toxic relationship is not lucky, at all. We should be calling these situations out, not sitting back and letting love fly out the door. Has no one remembered the phrase “if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you, it’s yours to keep” ? I swear y’all don’t know what love is.

Love is not refusing to let someone go

Love is not manipulating someone into having children with you

Love is not staying with someone until you get the ring

Love is not wanting someone’s money

Love is not only about joining a new family

Love is sacrifice

Love is loss

Love is hurt and hate

Love is deep pain

Love is missing them when they’re not around

How can one miss someone if they’re constantly jumping down their throat ?

How can one be happy with someone when they’re constantly waiting for the future ?

How can one expect to live happily ever after with children when they’re not living happily ever after without them ?

Someone do something !

I’ve just had enough of this.

I’m sorry God, but I hate my neighbors.