why ?
Nothing makes sense anymore; as if it ever did before. I can muck up almost anything *
Perhaps if I drink enough coffee and smoke enough weed, I won’t need to eat .
I have been contemplating the word demeaning, and what it means to reduce someone to something else, dehumanizing. Specifically, what makes me feel demeaned and dehumanized ? And how could I be guilty of the same ?
I feel demeaned when someone says one thing to me, but knowingly thinks another. One could call it lying, but it’s more subtle than that. It’s a conscious decision not to share information. As a Gemini, I live for knowledge, and I consider keeping truths to be a betrayal. I feel demeaned and dehumanized by the idea of intentionally deciding to hide truths from me, regardless of whatever the truth is. If there’s a truth that someone in my life decides they have to keep from me, perhaps they should consider why that is. ANd don’t even get me started on abandonment !
On the other side, perhaps my own negative perceptions of others leads me to view people as bad, or unworthy, which in turn creates this sense of demeaning in my descriptions of them. I see them as less than human because of the pain, hurt, and betrayal, so I subconsciously dehumanize them in my mind and thoughts. Perhaps we are all guilty of this. It is hard to say what is right and what is wrong here. Perhaps the same is true: I am not qualified to be making that judgement of other humans, either. So, in order to stop demeaning and dehumanizing, I must first stop judging.
Avoiding judgement is impossible for someone with my condition (Borderline Personality Disorder). Passing judgement is a form of self protection. It allow me to feel more in control of my settings and surroundings. As someone who struggles with social anxiety, it allows me to feel a sense of control when I would otherwise be overwhelmed. I was going to say it allows me to feel like one of the group, but is this actually true ? In fact, it seems more likely that by judging everyone I am actually removing myself from the “group thought” if you will. I have always been proud of my originality, yet its important to understand how I created an outcast of myself.
UGH ! So, how are we guilty of demeaning and dehumanizing others ?
My immediate thought is the idea of deification of a celebrity. Sure, to a certain degree all the famous egos want us to tell them that they’re a God, but how is this actually detrimental to their own soul ? Excuse me for getting all spiritual on you, but who goes to Heaven that Falsely Thinks he is a God in his first Life ? We should be reeling in celebrities from the land of golden clouds, not placing them on a pedestal like the Oscars they hold. Beyond actors, there’s front (wo)men of bands, who are often idolized beyond the rest of the band despite being equally as talented. Admiration of others is a natural human condition and worshipping of celebrities a worldwide human phenomenon. Yet, we should be mindful of the dehumanization which occurs whenever humans begin to idolize another. Actors, Athletes, comedians, you name it. Anyone who is idolized is dehumanized. Do you agree ?
In my own mind, I reduce others to emotional interactions I had with them. I hold a lot of grudges, and I hardly forget anything. Strong negative emotional interactions may cause me to lash out, either immediately, or with a delayed response. These attacks are almost always typed, as I am aware that I hide behind the screen.
Yet, these people who hurt me. I guess, they’re human too, And I hate them, because they hurt me. But, I am guilty of demaning them when I lash out with my words. I’m guilty of dehumanizing them when I look back in anger, and only remember the negative. These are the truths of my human condition.
A life of hurt begets a life of pain.
Best & blessed,
em
<3
* adapted from Lincoln’s “Banks”